The 3 Words That Can KILL Your Potential
We hear them all the time. They’re common words, and many have their usefulness when used right. On the other hand, most are used in a disempowering, negative way most often, and some should never be used at all. If you want to boost your potential and change your life for the better, work to eliminate the disempowering forms of these words from your vocabulary.
But – You hear this word everywhere, including a lot from entrepreneurs. Proof can be found in the comments of this or any other blog, where you’ll see things like, “Great post, but…,” or “You make some good points, but….” Unfortunately, you also hear “but” a lot when you’re telling your plans and ideas to others, and it can be discouraging. The last thing anyone wants to hear is that something they want to do or that they did is good – BUT. And it usually comes from people whose opinions are important to you (friends, family, etc.), but who really don’t know what they’re talking about. In other cases, we say it to ourselves – “I would start a business, but….” In all these cases, the word “but” is being used to focus on the negative. It’s negating the words before “but” and putting the focus on the negativity that comes after. There’s nothing wrong with not agreeing with something, and it’s important to look at all angles, so different opinions and viewpoints can be valuable. These can be addressed in a better way though. How about, “I want to start a business, and I have this challenge, so let me figure out a way to make it happen” or, “That’s a great idea. Do you know how you’ll handle…?” These phrases get the thought process started rather than squashing it. There is a good time to use “but”, and that’s when you intend to downplay the first part of your statement: “It will be a challenge, but I know I can do it!” Oh, and if you think “however” is an acceptable alternative, think again. It’s just a “but” in a tuxedo.
Should have – Ok, this is actually a two-word phrase. The point is, it’s perhaps the most pointless phrase anyone can ever utter. While it’s important to learn from the past, this phrase is filled with negativity, and until someone makes time travel possible, it serves no purpose, other than to point out a mistake. Turn this around by focusing on the future. Instead of saying, “You should have…” change it to, “Next time, try this….” This simple shift changes the focus from negativity to possibility and helpfulness.
Can’t – Few words, if any, are more disempowering than the word “can’t.” It’s so final. When you say “can’t” you’re saying that something is literally impossible. The thing is, that’s almost never really the case. You might be up against a very difficult situation, and your challenges might seem insurmountable, but that doesn’t mean something can’t be done. It just means it’s going to be very difficult. And because of the level of difficulty, sometimes it makes sense to choose not to follow through with something or to start it in the first place. Entrepreneurs frequently evaluate a situation and make a decision not to proceed. This is often a prudent decision, and it shows maturity and professionalism, whereas simply saying it can’t be done is an excuse and not to be taken seriously. So rather than telling yourself you can’t do something, think in terms of what it would take to make it happen, and then evaluate whether you want to proceed, and make a decision based on the facts.
The language you use really does matter. Whether it’s internal talk or when you’re speaking to others, words have an affect on your thoughts, therefore your emotions, and therefore your actions. So choose words well and eliminate those that don’t serve to keep your potential intact.
